Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
The Cost of Money
Torah Portion: Eikev
The Cost of Money
By
Rabbi Moshe Rothchild
Believe it or not in just about seven weeks Jews around the world will be gathering in synagogues to celebrate the awesome days of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. On these days we will reflect upon and consider this past year on a personal and a communal level. The intensity and climax of the day is felt during the service when we recite the “Unetaneh Tokef” prayer in which we describe the power and nature of the day. In the midst of the prayer there is a line that reads “B’nafsho yavi lachmo-With his soul (life) he brings his bread..” What is the meaning behind this phrase?
Many people believe that they will find happiness when they achieve material success. When we are young we dream and imagine the day when the money will be pouring in-fancy cars, houses, world travel etc. We hope for a life without the limitations and constraints of financial struggle. Though we pay lip service to the expression “money doesn’t buy happiness” we live as if it does. We acknowledge that health is more important than money as well. Yet, we risk our health to make money and then we spend our money to restore our health. If we can be honest with ourselves for a moment I think we will conclude that the allure of money and what we are willing to do to get it and maintain it is far greater than we are willing to acknowledge. Often the price we pay for money is the surrendering of our souls.
For many, money plays a huge role in defining who they are. A simple litmus test is to ask yourself what you would be like if faced with, Gd forbid, sudden financial problems. What if you were forced to sell your home and move your family into a small two bedroom apartment? What if you had to sell your cars and survive using only public transportation and walking? What if you were forced to sell your most precious jewelry in order to put food on the table and pay the bills? What if you couldn’t afford a housekeeper, membership at the health club, summer camp for your kids, family vacations, nice clothing? Considering all of the above, would you be the same person you are right now? Be honest! Sadly, I think most people would not be the same. Much of our self worth and self esteem is tragically attached to our material success.
In the Torah reading this week it refers to the manna, (the miraculous food that Hashem provided daily for the Jewish people throughout their stay in the dessert) as a test. Why is this considered to be a test?
Perhaps the challenge is in the easy availability of the manna. Life was good-nobody had to struggle to earn a living and work hard to put food on the table. Our food was provided for by Gd and therein lies the test.
Today, we have experienced material success beyond the wildest imagination of previous generations of Jews. We have built beautiful homes filled with all kinds of possessions, we drive nice cars, own businesses, take luxurious vacations and spend copious amounts of money to ensure that our kids are always happy. But what price have we paid for that success? Do we feel that it is our hand that has brought that success? I don’t think I would have been able to say this 10 or 20 years ago, but today I do believe that money is an enormous challenge, one that has led more people away from Hashem than even tragedy. Perhaps it is not felt as sharply because it happens slowly and gradually but I firmly believe that the end result of the process has led to the staggering numbers of Jews opting out from Judaism in the United States. Material success has decimated American Jewry. We have lost all perspective.
What is the solution? Birkat Hamazon. Yes, you heard me correctly. Birkat Hamazon (Grace after Meals). THERE IS NO RELIGION IN THE WORLD THAT HAS A GRACE AFTER MEALS EXCEPT FOR JUDAISM. PERIOD. This unique mitzvah found in our Torah portion this week is not at all about thanking Gd for food. It is all about thanking Gd for material success! Eating and feeling satisfied from a good meal is simply a paradigm for financial and material success. It symbolizes our ability to turn to Gd when we are satisfied and not only when we feel that we are lacking. It is easy to ask Gd for help when we lack money or other things. The real challenge of success is to intensify our relationship with Gd and not to let it slip away with feelings of personal accomplishment that we believe is independent of Gd. Easier said than done but that is why it is called a challenge.
A number of years ago I used to give a weekly shiur (class) in business ethics to a group of businessmen during their lunch break. Most were business owners, some more and some less successful than the rest. In the course of one of our classes we were discussing the topic of challenges in this world and what we are meant to learn from those challenges. I told the group that in life we all face tests with various degrees of difficulties but no challenge is impossible to confront and to overcome no matter how difficult it may seem while you are in the heat of the moment. I told the group that we may not realize it but wealth and success is also a challenge. One of the men sitting in the group with a big grin on his face blurted out loudly, “Bring it on!”
While of course his line got a great laugh, in reality it is no laughing matter. Wealth is a test and like all tests it is fraught with risk and with the possibility of failure. However, like all tests it also carries with it the potential for greatness. Birkat Hamazon is the antidote that allows us to see clearly and keep our material success in proper perspective.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Starting Over
When I first considered leaving my position as a pulpit Rabbi in the US in order to fulfill my lifelong aspiration of moving to Israel, I consulted with a rabbi that I respected already living in Israel. His opinion was clear. “Don’t come,” he said.
He then went on to explain that living outside of Israel I was doing many great things, impacting a lot of people, and contributing to the Jewish community and to humanity in a way that I could not while living in Israel. “Here, rabbis are a dime a dozen and you will be a nobody like everyone else.” Well, I went anyway. Sometimes you just have to do what you know to be right. After 2,000 years of exile, the Jewish people have come home. I wanted to one day be able to look into the eyes of my grandchildren and tell them that I was a part of that.
About 15 years earlier another rabbi and his wife made a similar decision. Seth and Sherri Mandell left their home in Maryland and brought their family to live in the Judean Hills. They were living their dream until a few years later tragedy struck. In May of 2001, their 13-year-old son Koby and his friend Yosef, were viciously and cruelly murdered by Arabs not far from their home. Koby and Yosef had cut school that day in order to spend time in nature, exploring the valley adjacent to their town. Their bodies were found the next day in a cave. They had been so badly mutilated that dental records were required to identify the boys.
A few months later I experienced a tragedy of my own. On September 23rd of 2001, just 12 days after 9/11, I was expecting to become a father for the first time. Instead my son returned his soul to heaven before he even took one breath. It was a pain unlike anything I had ever known. My wife and I had expected to spend that night awake listening to the cries of our baby. Instead, we were kept awake by our own cries. The only thing that gave us comfort that night was by thinking of a way to create some light out of the darkness that we were experiencing. We resolved to raise money in the name of our child in order to bring goodness into the world. And that is exactly what we did.
Seth and Sherri Mandell did the same. After their son’s light was so abruptly extinguished, they resolved to return that light tenfold. Just weeks before Koby was murdered, there had been a different fatal terror attack. Koby had said “I feel sorry for the person who was killed, but I feel sorrier for the people left behind.” So after Koby was killed, the Mandell family founded The Koby Mandell Foundation which is committed to healing the broken hearts of those left behind. They provide healing retreats for mothers and therapeutic summer camps for children who have lost family members to terror. They now plan to expand their services to victims of all kinds of tragedy. These individuals who could otherwise be destroyed by grief are able to come out stronger and healthier. By helping these individuals heal, they are shaping and healing all of Israeli society. Their work is miraculous.
There are two wars being fought against terror. One is on the physical plane. The other on a spiritual plane. The Mandells fight the war on terror every single day with the ultimate weapon; love. All of us, Jews and Christians, have the opportunity to join the struggle everyday in every way. In the name of all of those who have lost their lives around the globe to terror and hatred, we must add love and bring healing to the world. We must increase our acts of kindness. We must add an element of goodness to the world that was not there before. This is how we turn darkness into light. This is how we fight God’s war. It is so easy for the families of the victims of terror to let their feelings of hatred towards the perpetrators take root and transform their entire life. If not addressed, it can cast a very dark shadow literally for the rest of their lives and for a child that is something that we cannot allow. A child whose sibling or parent was murdered experiences our healing camps and is transformed. To spend time with other children who have had similar experiences allows the children to open up and to rebuild their lives. Quick story: A child who had lost a father to terror told his counselor that this was the first time that he had smiled in a year. He was so concerned about his mother’s grieving that he was afraid to smile and to ever look happy for fear that it would upset her. We gave that child his smile back and brought a glimmer of hope to what was a hopeless situation. There are countless similar stories.
When I arrived in Israel one year ago I began the process of figuring out what a rabbi turned ‘nobody’ like me was going to do. I was starting over. It was as if the reset button was pushed on my life and I needed to find a new direction. After months of soul searching, I decided that I was going to work for an organization that spoke to my heart and to my soul. It just so happens that The Koby Mandell Foundation is run out of Efrat, the town in the Judean Hills that I now live in. After meeting with the Mandell’s and the executive director of the foundation I felt that I had found the place that I now belong. I had found a way to contribute. So here I am, impacting the world in a much quieter way, yet I hope, in a much greater way.
He then went on to explain that living outside of Israel I was doing many great things, impacting a lot of people, and contributing to the Jewish community and to humanity in a way that I could not while living in Israel. “Here, rabbis are a dime a dozen and you will be a nobody like everyone else.” Well, I went anyway. Sometimes you just have to do what you know to be right. After 2,000 years of exile, the Jewish people have come home. I wanted to one day be able to look into the eyes of my grandchildren and tell them that I was a part of that.
About 15 years earlier another rabbi and his wife made a similar decision. Seth and Sherri Mandell left their home in Maryland and brought their family to live in the Judean Hills. They were living their dream until a few years later tragedy struck. In May of 2001, their 13-year-old son Koby and his friend Yosef, were viciously and cruelly murdered by Arabs not far from their home. Koby and Yosef had cut school that day in order to spend time in nature, exploring the valley adjacent to their town. Their bodies were found the next day in a cave. They had been so badly mutilated that dental records were required to identify the boys.
A few months later I experienced a tragedy of my own. On September 23rd of 2001, just 12 days after 9/11, I was expecting to become a father for the first time. Instead my son returned his soul to heaven before he even took one breath. It was a pain unlike anything I had ever known. My wife and I had expected to spend that night awake listening to the cries of our baby. Instead, we were kept awake by our own cries. The only thing that gave us comfort that night was by thinking of a way to create some light out of the darkness that we were experiencing. We resolved to raise money in the name of our child in order to bring goodness into the world. And that is exactly what we did.
Seth and Sherri Mandell did the same. After their son’s light was so abruptly extinguished, they resolved to return that light tenfold. Just weeks before Koby was murdered, there had been a different fatal terror attack. Koby had said “I feel sorry for the person who was killed, but I feel sorrier for the people left behind.” So after Koby was killed, the Mandell family founded The Koby Mandell Foundation which is committed to healing the broken hearts of those left behind. They provide healing retreats for mothers and therapeutic summer camps for children who have lost family members to terror. They now plan to expand their services to victims of all kinds of tragedy. These individuals who could otherwise be destroyed by grief are able to come out stronger and healthier. By helping these individuals heal, they are shaping and healing all of Israeli society. Their work is miraculous.
There are two wars being fought against terror. One is on the physical plane. The other on a spiritual plane. The Mandells fight the war on terror every single day with the ultimate weapon; love. All of us, Jews and Christians, have the opportunity to join the struggle everyday in every way. In the name of all of those who have lost their lives around the globe to terror and hatred, we must add love and bring healing to the world. We must increase our acts of kindness. We must add an element of goodness to the world that was not there before. This is how we turn darkness into light. This is how we fight God’s war. It is so easy for the families of the victims of terror to let their feelings of hatred towards the perpetrators take root and transform their entire life. If not addressed, it can cast a very dark shadow literally for the rest of their lives and for a child that is something that we cannot allow. A child whose sibling or parent was murdered experiences our healing camps and is transformed. To spend time with other children who have had similar experiences allows the children to open up and to rebuild their lives. Quick story: A child who had lost a father to terror told his counselor that this was the first time that he had smiled in a year. He was so concerned about his mother’s grieving that he was afraid to smile and to ever look happy for fear that it would upset her. We gave that child his smile back and brought a glimmer of hope to what was a hopeless situation. There are countless similar stories.
When I arrived in Israel one year ago I began the process of figuring out what a rabbi turned ‘nobody’ like me was going to do. I was starting over. It was as if the reset button was pushed on my life and I needed to find a new direction. After months of soul searching, I decided that I was going to work for an organization that spoke to my heart and to my soul. It just so happens that The Koby Mandell Foundation is run out of Efrat, the town in the Judean Hills that I now live in. After meeting with the Mandell’s and the executive director of the foundation I felt that I had found the place that I now belong. I had found a way to contribute. So here I am, impacting the world in a much quieter way, yet I hope, in a much greater way.
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